There appears to be a common tendency among some families in India where the child is taken by the mother, her extended family (father, brothers etc) to their extended family home on the pretext of summer holidays etc and then keep the child in their extended family house and both the child, mother is prevented from meeting/communicating with the father by creating a small excuse and then finally stealing the child from another parent. This is not good for the child or the father. Mistakes like this must be avoided. Joint responsibility by both the parents needed for the good of the child. It is important for the child to be with the parents.
Why it is important for the children to be with both the parents ??
Children are a gift from the god given equally to both the parents. Both parents put much effort, responsibility for a child to be born. It is equally important that it is maintained like that after the child birth. Sometimes, the females (i.e. mother) and their extended family (ie. their father, brothers etc) take the children as though they are going for a vacation for a month or two to their parents’ house. Sometimes their own health itself may not be good. Sometimes they may be coming to the ill influence of their extended family who influence, direct, pressurize, threaten, as well as lure them with rewards, excuses etc to stay in their parents’ place at the time cutting of communication with the father to meet their own needs.
How It Effect the Child?
However this is wrong. Neither the child nor the god likes this. This will have a very bad effect on the child as well as the father. It will be the desire for both the child and parent to be in touch with each other regularly, however after going to their own parents house and coming under the evil influence and running away with kid from one of the father amounts to a major sin by both the mother, her extended family. This will be wrong both In the eyes of the god, nature, children and due course of time, god, nature will have its own way of teaching lessons and they may not like it. It may be even so that the extended family members may have forcefully kept the mother, child locked up in a room, a large house with dogs visited by clients as many lawyers in India have converted their house to a law office with frequent visits by clients. This is wrong.
At that time, it will be the mistake of extended family and they can not fight with god and due course of time, god will teach his lessons as well. However, the best course of action is for the extended family to understand their mistake, come to son-in-law, bring his wife as well as child, ask for forgiveness and re-establish communication with both the child and the father. This probably will be a correct way to fix their mistakes. Extended family should not impose its mistakes, ego, abuse of power on the children, their parents. Keeping the child with out meeting the father months, sometimes years.
How It Affects Child?
With out being in touch with each other, will affect the confidence, morale, emotional behavior, group behavior, social behavior etc of the child impacting their performance over long term which is not good. Grand father, his sons, who are lawyers etc may run the business from home, make money, but what about their children (daughter), grand daughter, son-in-law’s life which will be affected. When extended family members are experienced in life, seniors, they need to make sure their behavior consistent with what is expected of them, display behavior, allow for joint accountability, shared responsibility by both the parents.
If for some reason, if their daughter’s health is not good or under treatment, they need to ensure that the grandchild keeps in regular contact with the father. Preventing/threatening the father, grandchildren, obstructing them from being in communication is not good for the children or the father, mother of the child as well as the society. When you are a senior member of the society, especially when you are a lawyer etc, your behavior must be a model to the society and not the opposite. Consulting, Collaborating, Communicating go a long way in shouldering responsibility. That is good for both the parents as well as the child. Make sure to get a regular feedback from both the child as well as allow for meeting of the child with both the parents even if you have taken the child for a vacation and not kidnapped the child and kept in your house incommunicado for long duration. Learn to be in the good books of both the parents, child, nature, god. It is important to make child as well as both the parents happy and in communication, collaboration.
